


Like an invasion

by Inori



Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Developing Relationship, M/M, Rare Pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-06 21:16:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4236906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inori/pseuds/Inori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Speirs had spent a lot of time building his cold-blooded killer image, he never asked a medic for help, even when he was beaten down by severe flu.<br/>He found out that apart from medical care, he wanted more from doc Roe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The new CO was beaten by flu

**Author's Note:**

> Even though they made little contact in the drama I still feel they resemble each other. They both are very calm most of the time, but when they get angry, they are equally scary to the rest of Easy.
> 
> I'm not a native speaker of English and I'm working hard to improve my writing skill, therefore I would be happy if you point out any grammar mistake!

The new Commander of Easy Company was beaten down by flu, just after they entering Haguenau.  
Sergeant Martin was the first to figure it out. When Captain Winters was briefing about the “nominally” occurred second patrol, Martin stopped Speirs to report Cobb’s drinking problem. Speirs looked pale and tired, as if he’d stayed up all night. But Martin knew it wasn’t the case. Even after the most stressful battle, he had never seen Speirs looking so tired.  
No matter how the rumors sprat, their new CO was undeniably a good leader. He truly cared about his fellow soldier, so they cared about him as well. Now the worst battle was close to end, the last thing they wanted to see was losing another good CO. So after they were dismissed, Martin came to Winters to talk about his worry.  
“I’m worried about Captain Speirs, sir. He coughs a lot, sometimes has a runny nose, and he is less concentrated than usual. I think he gets a bad flu.”  
Winters nodded in agreement. “Yes Martin, I noticed that as well. Don’t worry, I will ask a medic to check about that right now.”  
After Martin left, Nixon asked in curiosity. “I heard from D Company that Speirs never asked for a medic even when he got injured, as if calling for help would undermine his tough guy image. Do you think you are charming enough to persuade our tough guy to accept your advice and be a good patient?”  
Winters smirked. “No I don’t. But we have doc Roe in Easy Company.”

Later that night, Winters called Speirs to come to the Battalion office. Speirs was pale and tired as he had been previously in the afternoon. After some brief talking about moving off line tomorrow, Winters asked.  
“You look pale, Ron. What’s wrong?”  
Nothing wrong, sir.  
Speirs intended to say so, but a sudden cough interrupted his reply. Winters frowned in worry and disagreement.  
”Go and see a medic.” Ordered Winters, “Nix will take care of the patrol report, you can have some rest tonight.”  
“I’m fine.” Speirs insisted, “I don’t need a medic.”  
Winters looked back at Nixon, who was typing their “fiction report” behind his desk, and received his “I told you so” gesture.

Just then the door was opened, in came doc Roe. He looked around and asked slightly confused when seeing no one injured: “You called me, sir?”  
“Yes, Eugene.” Said Winters, dragging Speirs forward, “We think Lieutenant Speirs needs your help.”  
Speirs opened his mouth and tried to refuse, the Captain gave him a “shut up and obey” glance. He thought he’d better obey exactly what Winters had said. His instinct told him an angry Winters is more dangerous than an entire SS company. Therefore he just moved forward, unbuttoned his shirt to let doc Roe check his pulse and body temperature.  
Doc put his hand on Speirs’ forehead, frowning at the burning skin he had touched.  
“You get a high fever, sir. How long have you been sick?”  
“I don’t know. Maybe a week or so. Nothing serious.” Said Speirs impatiently, trying to stop doc with his “cold-blooded killer stare”, just like he used to do when he was in D Company. Unfortunately, had he known doc Roe better, he would have never done that.  
Doc Roe stopped his checking process and looked straightly at Speirs, anger was burning in his dark eyes.  
“Nothing serious? Do you know severe flu like this can be fatal if not taken proper treatment? You are an officer, a grown-up. You ought to take care of yourself!”  
Speirs was shocked. Before today he had thought doc Roe was gentle and harmless and was unable to shout at anybody that loud, now he should change his comment. Doc Roe was a paratrooper before being pointed as a medic. He was strong and tough, just like the rest of them.  
Winters and Nixon had already left the room before both of them noticed, leaving private space for Speirs to bear doc’s anger. He was situated onto the sofa. Roe poured out a glass of water and stuffed it into his hand.  
“Drink this and have some rest. I’ll try to find some medicine for you.” Roe said firmly, still looking angry, “If it doesn’t turn better tomorrow, I’ll transfer you to a hospital.”  
“Forget about that, I won’t go.” Speirs frowned at Roe’s over-reacting, getting up again, “A leader should never lie down uselessly in hospital while his men fighting outside.”  
That’s the reason why he had never called a medic when injured. He figured out from D-Day that he needed his men to fear him, consider him the toughest and bravest in their company, so that they would obey his order without any doubt, follow him wherever he went, so that he could lead them to victory. He didn’t care about whether they liked him or not, it was the cost he was willing to pay.  
Roe looked at him for a long time; he sighed and held Speirs’ hand.  
“I appreciate your endeavor of protecting Easy Company, and leading us to victory; but your health is equally important to us. After all the sufferings and deaths we finally get a good CO, we don’t want to lose him because of flu, that’s far too stupid.”  
He pushed Speirs’ shoulder to lie him down on the sofa, gave him a warm blanket.  
“Just lie down and sleep, I promise you will be fine tomorrow.”

Speirs had heard that doc’s words and touch had magical power because he had inherited this from his grandma, a Traiteur. He never really believed rumors like this, but now, with doc holding his hand firmly, he figured out those soldiers never exaggerated a single word about doc’s incredible magic.  
“Do you need anything else, sir?”  
No reply came from their flu-beaten CO, so Roe asked again. Speirs dragged Roe’s hand and put it on his eyes. The cool soft palm eased his fever-burned eyelids. A magical power flowed over him, all those tense and tiredness he had been baring since D-Day were washed away. He felt safe and calm and sleepy.  
“Stay.”  
He murmured, and then fell into a sound sleep.


	2. Who is the toughest guy of Easy Company?

Before Haguenau, Speirs had only known doc Roe by name. The small Louisianan medic was just another new face that he had to remember after he was pointed as CO of Easy. He had heard some comments from First Sergeant Lipton and other men of Easy, but those were just words, too plain and empty to make a deep impression. Now, thanks to the flu, he finally understood why Lipton had put “never do anything to anger doc Roe” as one of the first dos and dons of getting along with Easy.

When the second battalion was moved off the line to get some rest after months of fierce fight, most of the soldiers, as well as officers, were enjoying their scarce holiday at the maximum. However, Speirs didn’t enjoy his offline day at all. He was ordered to lie down and rest for another day, under close surveillance of doc Roe.  
Now he was lying restlessly on bed, staring at the faded ceiling painting and trying to figure out what was painted there originally. It was 10 o’clock in the morning; the weather was warm and pleasant; soldiers were having fun everywhere. Cheers and singings and whistols kept flooding into his room, tortured his ears, even the soft warm bed felt like hell.

“You need more rest, sir. Rolling back and forth won’t hasten your recovery.” When Speirs was making his 30th rolling, said doc Roe.  
“I’m fine now. I have no fever and don’t cough anymore. The last thing I need is to lie still and sleep my holiday off.”  
Of course doc Roe didn’t listen to him. There was a strange look on his face, as if he was amused by Speirs’ protest.  
“Sorry but I can’t trust your judgement on this issue, sir. You have a dangerous tendency of concealing injury and illness. I’m afraid you can’t join the other officers until I ensure you are fully healed.”

Seeing no chance of further negotiation, Speirs gave up and lied back into the comfortable bed. Doc Roe sat down next to him, pulled out a postcard and started writing. Speirs quietly studied him for a while, out of boredom and curiosity, he asked.  
“To whom are you writing?”  
“To my grandparents. I promised to write to them as soon as we are off line. I haven’t written home since Bastogne.”  
Speirs seldom wrote home. He resented the idea of recalling all the fights he had been through. Also, he doubted it that they could really understand his feeling. Instead he only sent his “findings” back to inform his family that he was still alive.  
Doc Roe seemed to take his silence as homesickness. He searched in his bag and grabbed another postcard, handled it to Speirs.  
“Do you need a postcard, Sir? I got a spare one.”  
“Don’t bother it, I hardly write home.”  
Roe nodded and went on writing his, no further talk came out any more. Speirs felt a little regret of refusing Roe’s offer. Now he was sent back to that boredom hell again.  
Just before he was bored to death, Winters came in with a bag of peach cans in his hand. He was astonished at how depressed Speirs was.  
“Is the flu that serious, Eugene? He looks even worse.”  
“Yes it is serious. But Captain Speirs insists that he is fine and wants to make it worse by drinking and party.”  
“I thought you never lied, doc.” Under Winters’ condemned stare, Speirs defended weakly.  
“I never lie.” Replied Roe. He stood up and pulled back his postcard. He said to Speirs with a warning tone, “I have to go and check the newly arrived first aid supply now. I’ll be back soon, sir. If you need anything, call Spina and he will come in a minute. Don’t ask him for cigarette or liquor, he won’t give it to you.”

Roe saluted to Winters and left. Speirs turned back and saw Winters trying hard not to laugh out loud. His entire body was shaking.  
“Just laugh if you want.” Speirs sighed in despair.  
Winters burst into laughter immediately.  
“So Eugene forced you to stay in bed the entire holiday with no recreation? Well, that’s our doc, you will get used to it.”  
“He is the toughest medic I’ve ever seen, maybe even the toughest guy in Easy.”  
“That’s quite a compliment from someone who himself was considered the toughest guy.” Winters opened a peach can for him, still smiling. “You should thank Harry, he had anticipated your miserable condition from his own experience, and asked me to bring you this gift.”  
“Tell him I’m thankful for his boring gift.”  
“Yes I will.” Winters said, giving him a comforting pat on the shoulder. “Anyway, Eugene is the best medic I’ve ever seen. I never doubted that.”  
“I know.” Speirs Replied.  
He had seen doc Roe running across battlefield bandaging the wounded like an agile squirrel, German artillery couldn’t even slow him down a second. He had also seen him holding the wounded in his arm, whispering soft words to calm them down. The longer he worked in Easy, the more he respected doc Roe. He was indeed the best medic, no one should ever doubt about that.

No, his feeling about doc Roe was far beyond respect.  
He remembered yesterday night, the calm and peace he had felt when doc’s hand was on his eyelids. Something deep inside started burning; awakened a desire he had been ignoring for long. He stared at the ceiling and thought of Roe’s serious face, wondering how charming it would be if Roe smiled at him, blushed at his whisper and kiss…  
“What are you thinking with that evil look?” Winters interrupted him alarmingly, “Don’t put any of your evil plan on Eugene. I’m sure Easy men will kill you for annoying doc.”  
Speirs smiled, like a lion ready to hunt. “Nothing evil, sir, I promise.”


	3. Date with a medic

3 Date with a medic

Speirs always considered himself as a man of destination. If he wanted something, he would keep on pursuing until he finally got it in his hands.  
Hence, when he figured out his feeling about doc Roe, he started his “no-evil” plan immediately.

Even though Speirs had no experience on dating with a man, he thought the basic process must be the same as dating with a woman, for example, stay with him more often, send valuable gifts and so on. So when they entered into Germany, most NCO of Easy noticed that their tough guy CO showed up more frequently than before, which was, indeed a horror for all the replacements and even some of the veterans.  
After months of sleeping in the freezing foxhole, finally they had warm houses to live in, hot meals in their stomachs. Germany, as some veterans had stated, was almost as sweet as home. They all got the feeling that this war was close to end, so instead of staying alarmed every second, they started enjoying life a little by party night. Tonight, most of Easy men were gathering together in the living room of first CP. Drinking German beer they had found in a barn this morning. The room was full of relaxed atmosphere, then all of a sudden, everyone fell into uncomfortable silence.  
Their CO came in with his usual icy expression. He looked around and opened a bottle of beer for himself, totally ignoring all the frozen men around.  
“Go on.” Speirs ordered, dragged a chair and sat down next to doc Roe. Roe could hear a replacement behind him, O’keefe or similar name, making a chocked noise out of fear.  
The living room was still in silence. Roe could feel his fellow men screaming at the top of their lungs for help, since he was a medic, it was his duty to answer the call, and save his fellow soldiers from their CO.  
“Good evening sir, glad you join us.” Roe started with the only topic he could think of right now, which was, obviously not a good one.  
Speirs pull out a pack of cigarette, handed it over to Roe. “Thank you, doc. Want a cigarette?”  
Now, even the NCOs were making horrified faces, as if Speirs was not offering a cigarette, but a pistol pointing at Eugene’s forehead.  
To everybody’s surprise, their fearless doc took that dangerous cigarette from their CO. “I don’t smoke much, but thank you, sir.”  
Speirs put back his cigarette pack. He looked around and said to the rest, “Go on, I’m not here to stop you.”  
So the party went on. Minutes later the delicious German beer washed away all the uncomfortableness. Laughter and singing refilled the room. Most of the men stood as far as they could from Roe’s table, making a vacuum circle around him and Speirs. Roe could tell that Speirs was somewhat contented with this isolated situation. He moved back to a more relaxing position, watching his fellow men making jokes and laughing.  
“You seldom join them, why?”  
Roe turned to him in surprise, as if he had never thought Speirs would notice that.  
“If I don’t keep distance, it will be hard to stay calm when they need my help.”  
Speirs studied Roe’s face for a while, then smiled a strange smile, “In that case, I will try all out not to get hit.”

Before Roe could reply, Speirs checked his wristwatch and stood up. “Curfew time. Now you have 3 minutes to go back to your dorm. Those remain outside after 3 minutes will volunteer for a midnight patrol. Doc, stay for a second.”  
The others dismissed in seconds, even under direct threat of German artillery had they never been more effective. Most of the Toccoa men gave Roe a sympathy look when they left, as if he was going to face some fatal situation.  
After they were left alone, Speirs cleared his throat and said, “There will be some Px level supply coming tomorrow, I need you to get everything we’ve been short, and then report to my office personally.”  
“Yes sir.”  
When he stepped out of the living room, Heffron hold his shoulder and asked for the cigarette he got from Speirs. “Give it to me, Gene. I want to taste that cigarette. ”  
Roe asked in confuse. “If you want it, Babe, why don’t you ask the CO for another one? I think he won’t refuse.”  
Heffron exclaimed, “Are you crazy? Who will ask him for cigarette?”  
“Because Babe is not as brave as you, Gene.” Said Malarkey, “Perhaps you are the only one who dares to accept that cigarette.”  
Others nodded in agreement.  
Roe sighed for their exaggeration, “You don’t really believe that rumor, do you?”  
“Of course not.” Denied Christenson immediately, with a shark-like smile on his face, “But we do believe our CO is more dangerous than any Kraut.”  
To some extent, that was absolutely true.

The following day came with newly arrived supply. After checking their inventory, Roe was asked, by their “more dangerous than Krauts” CO, to report to his office personally. Speirs’ office was full of souvenirs and ammunition that it was impossible to enter without stepping onto them. Therefore he stood by the door, knocked to inform his coming.  
“Sir, I’m here to report our medical inventory.”  
“Come, I got something for you.” Speirs skipped the report completely. He fetched out a wooden box and put it into Roe’s hands; inside there were half a dozen French wine. It was indeed a top luxury here; Speirs traded them with couples of Luger.  
Roe looked surprised, but not at all delighted. Speirs felt that his expectation rotted into disappointment.  
“Thank you, sir. But it’s too valuable, besides, I don’t drink.”  
“Then give them to whoever you like.” Said Speirs impatiently, feeling angry about himself. He should have done more research before picking gift, he had never seen doc drink in any of those parties, he should have thought of the possibility that he didn’t drink at all. He traded for this just because he knew that doc was a half-Cajun. He had thought that some good French wine may comfort doc from homesickness. But he was totally wrong. He should have traded something useful and modest, even bandage and morphine would have been a better idea.  
Now the entire plan was screwed up. He had been such a fool to consider doc’s uncomfortableness as embarrassment; to take his caring mind of a medic as love; and to show his affection in an improper way. He should have expected the refusal. Thanks to Roe’s gentle nature, he didn’t say anything harsh.

Roe held the box and tried anxiously to explain, “Sir, I’m truly thankful for your gift and I didn’t mean to be rude-”  
“It’s alright, Roe, nothing to apologize.” Speirs interrupted him, with icy expression on his face. Sympathy was the last thing he wanted from Roe. “Just take it and go.”

It was a direct order that he couldn’t object. Roe saluted to Speirs and left, still felt confused and a little bit worried. Of course he was not afraid of Speirs killing him for refusing the gift, something else was bothering him. Even though Roe hardly drank wine he could still recognize the chateau’s name. It was far too valuable as a thank-you gift, not to mention there was nothing for Speirs to thank him. 

As he walked back towards his dorm, he encountered Winters and Nixon. Nixon’s eyes shined brightly when he saw what was in his hands.  
“Oh, that’s a treasure, Eugene. Where did you get those beauties?”  
“Lieutenant Speirs gave them to me, sir. He said I could share them with Easy men.” Roe answered honestly, “I tried to refuse but he seemed angry about that.”  
Winters and Nixon looked at each other, with pity and amused expression on their faces.  
“Don’t worry about him. He is just a childish schoolboy who only teases the one he loves.” Nixon said in deep disdain, totally ignoring the astonished look of Roe. “Poor Sparky.”  
Winters smirked mercilessly. “Don’t be too hard on Sparky, Nix. He is still young and sensitive.”

God bless America, her officers can’t keep the smallest secret!  
Speirs thought desperately, and walked away before they noticed him listening.

Roe didn’t reply.  
He stared at the box, with deep sorrow in his eyes, like he was staring at someone he loved, so dearly that he was afraid to touch.


	4. The only kind of love he is able to give

Like most soldiers in the 506 regiment, Eugene Roe had heard about Lieutenant Speirs’ legend long before he actually knew him. Those horrifying rumor hadn’t bothered him much, though. He had been taught to believe what he had seen with his own eyes, not just others’ words. However, the wide-circled stories did increase his curiosity about Speirs. So when Speirs had taken over Easy and acted as their new CO, Roe had also spent some time studying him. He saw how he had run through the German line fearlessly to contact I Company, how he had commanded calmly and confidently to lead them to victory. There was no doubt that Speirs was the best soldier he’d ever seen, and one of the best COs he’d ever had. Roe trusted and respected him as much as any man of Easy, and began to like him gradually. But due to the isolated nature of Speirs, he had never got any chance to know more about him, or more precisely, he had known nothing more than Speirs had wanted them to know.   
When he was called to the battalion to take care of the flu-beaten CO, he had found another side of their tough CO. Behind all the legend and rumor, he was just a human being, like the rest of them. He was not a god of war or angel of death, he could get sick and injured, and he also needed doc’s care. Roe had never turned his back on patients who needed his help, even when the patient himself kept refusing. However, after a brief checking he figured out that Speirs had a lot of old scars that had been treated poorly. Clearly he had never called a medic when he got injured. Thank God he had been lucky since D-Day, otherwise, even the smallest infection would have cost his life. Roe was outraged by how poorly this man had treated himself. He needed him to be clear that he was in Easy Company now; no one including CO could conceal his injury without punishment. 

Roe had been warned that their new CO was not as easy as their good old Dick. Speirs was not a good tempered man nor had he ever pretended to be one. But as everyone of Easy knew, doc Roe was also the fearless type. Obviously warnings would not stop him from forcing his CO to lie down and rest. Their tough guy CO seemed shocked by his anger and remained quiet for a long time. Roe got worried and asked if he needed anything, to his surprise, Speirs held his hand and asked him to stay. 

The touch brought a shock running through his spine. In a second, his heart beat so fast that he could hardly control his expression.

Roe had known since puberty that he had different sexual orientation from the majority. Man was more attractive to him than woman. He had known some men like himself in New Orleans, but he had never looked for one as lover, neither before he joined the Airborne nor after. He loved all the men in Easy as brothers, but none of them had ever made his heart beating fast with desire. However, he had no intention to confess to Speirs. He was not sure Speirs was the same as him, even if he was, there was little chance that he would love someone as ordinary and boring as Roe.  
After Speirs was recovered from flu, he had wiped out all his feelings and carefully kept distance from him. It was not a difficult task. He was no NCO, there was little business that required him to report to Speirs directly.   
Unfortunately, Speirs had thought the opposite. He showed up more often than ever in their party night. Usually he wouldn’t talk much; he would sit down next to Roe and study his face the whole night. It took all his self-control not to blush under that gaze.   
And the wine, the wine spoke for itself. Roe was not a naïve child, he knew the meaning of such a valuable gift. It should have been the happiest thing in the world that the one you loved felt the same about you, but it couldn’t be here, not in this war where close relationship would jeopardize their lives.   
Since the day he volunteered to be a medic, he had calmly accepted the fact that he could never get close fellowship with these men he served together. He would never know to whom the next calling would lead, or what situation he might see. Everyone else could cry for a loss of friend, for the pain he was suffering; but it could never be him. As a medic he had no right to collapse and cry. He was not allowed to lose control no matter who had died in his hands, because his sentiment would be fatal, a shaking hand might cause his patient’s life.   
That’s the reason why he had been keeping distance from all the men he loved. He must stay calm in every second, so that he could treat them effectively when they got hit, so that he could protect them at his best.

Speirs was offering something too valuable for him to afford, the only response he could give was to protect him from afar. That was the only kind of love he was able to give.

He stared at the box of wine, with deep heartache that no one would notice.  
I know. I feel the same for you. He said silently to himself, and to the one who would never hear his confession.   
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.


	5. It collapsed

Speirs ceased coming to the party and returned to officers’ card game. He was such a proud man that he wouldn’t let anyone see him in low spirits. He thought bitterly that Roe might feel relieved for not having to be with him anymore, while on second thought, he knew it was not Roe’s fault. He was just in bad luck, nothing more. 

They hadn’t seen each other alone since then, till one month later they had arrived in Landsberg.  
Peconty ran breathlessly back to town minutes after they were sent to patrol, to report what they had found. It turned out to be a nightmare, the worst they had ever seen.  
That night, Speirs didn’t sleep well. He had thought once that, after all those battles in France, Netherland and Belgium, he had been too dull to feel anger or fear for any pattern of death. But even in the bloodiest battlefield had he never seen anything like the Landsberg Camp, even hell should have been better.  
He sat down on the step in front of their CP and lighted a cigarette. His brain was crowded with thoughts like a busy train station. He irritably put off the cigarette and threw the bottom away. His heart beat angrily under ribs, compelling him to do something in revenge.  
The Landsberg guards left just hours before their arrival; there was high chance to track them down. Activities like this would not be approved officially since they were considered against humanity. But Speirs was far too familiar with the administrative staff; it had never bothered him at all.

Someone was approaching with light footsteps; he jumped to his feet immediately, pulled out his pistol and pointed at the stranger. It was doc Roe. Speirs pulled back his pistol and sat back. To be honest, Roe was the last person he wanted to see right now.  
“What are you doing, doc?”  
“Sorry to break the curfew, sir. I just need some fresh air.” Roe looked tired and depressed, with heavy shadow under his eyes. Clearly Speirs wasn’t the only one that was suffered from nightmare. Speirs should have thought of that. As a medic Roe had more medical knowledge to figure out how much torture the prisoners had been through, he must feel worse than Speirs did.  
“Forget about the curfew.” Speirs moved aside to get some room for Roe, “Have a sit.”  
Roe sat down next to him. For a long time neither of them said anything. Moonlight flew silently over treetops and rooves, leaving long shadows on the step. The town was beautiful and peaceful as it had always been, as if the cruel war had never happened.  
“Many replacements didn’t sleep well tonight. They came to medics asking for hypnotics.” After a long silence, said Roe, “I can give it to them, but hypnotics can’t heal what they’ve been suffering.”  
It was nothing new to Speirs. In fact, it sometimes occurred to him as well. For soldiers that had survived all those fights, mental injury became something inevitable. Speirs knew it couldn’t be healed easily like a physical one, so he had learned to live with it, to put up with sleepless nights and over stressed nerves. He had seen soldiers collapsed because of that, but he never considered it something serious or even fatal.  
Therefore he replied, just speaking his own thought. “It’s common, everyone has the problem. Given time, the replacements will get used to it.”  
“That’s what I’m worried about.” Sighed Roe, “Mental injury is harder to cure than a physical one, yet we pay less attention. It feels bad watching them suffer while I can’t help.”  
Speirs looked at him in surprise and deep affection. In fact he shouldn’t be surprised at all. That was their doc Roe, who always cared about his fellow men more than anybody else. His caring spirit was so valuable that Speirs would fight life and death to protect. No matter he would answer his love or not, he loved and respected him all the same.  
The interesting thing is that, when you love somebody deep enough, it becomes unimportant whether he belongs to you or not. You want him to be happy, forever, even if his happiness has little to do with you.   
Speirs thought quietly, studying Roe’s face in the gentle moonlight. Roe was still in deep thought that he didn’t show any sign of uncomfortableness. Speirs had to fight hard against a sudden temptation of caressing the worrying wrinkle between his eyebrows.   
Speirs was not good at comforting people. He hesitantly put one hand on Roe’s shoulder, and said, “You have been protecting the men in your way, and you’ve done a great job, just keep on.”  
“I just did what I should do. But thank you, sir. I feel much better now.”  
Roe smiled a gentle smile he’d never seen before, which ignited his heart like the morning star igniting the sky. With heartache he watched, carefully hiding all his expressions into the shadow.  
“Go back and have some rest. We are moving to Thalem tomorrow.” He stood up to end this conversation, and threw a Hershey chocolate bar to Roe. “Take it as hypnotics.”  
Roe took the chocolate and thanked him. Clearly Speirs was not heading back to his room. With an alarm ringing in his head, he asked, “Where are you going, sir?”  
Speirs didn’t answer. Instead he smiled cruelly, and walked away.

Before they entered into Austria, Speirs had given Liebgott a secret order to hunt down a guard of Landsberg Camp, execution had been authorized. Liebgott was more than willing to obey. It eased him a little knowing that the ruthless dreg would die in agony.   
He had a feeling that doc Roe had been aware of his plan, but he hadn’t shown any sign of it yet, nor had he told anyone.   
Later that night, his instinct about doc’s awareness was proved.  
At 10pm he heard knocking on the door. He opened it to find doc standing in front of his room. Through the disapproved look on his face, Speirs had expected what he was going to say.  
“I heard that Liebgott got a special order about guard of the Landsberg Camp. Is that true, sir?”  
“I inquired natives in Landsberg and got some information.” He answered vaguely, “Liebgott was happy to make use of it.”  
Roe frowned at his confession. “They have surrendered, the war is over. It’s not proper to hunt down and executed people like that.”  
“Judging by what they’ve done, they deserve nothing proper.”  
“I’m not talking about them, I’m talking about you.” Angered by his stubbornness, Roe shouted loudly at him, “By doing so you had degraded yourself to their level, like a cold-blooded killer!”  
Speirs had been called horrifying nicknames by many since D-Day, neither of them bothered him at all. But this time, when those words came out of doc’s mouth, it hurt almost lethally. Those words were like bullets shooting straight into his heart, for a moment he couldn’t feel his heart beating.   
He finally found his tone; fury flooded over him as he spoke. “If it annoyed you so much, report it to the battalion. I will confess every cold-blooded thing I’ve done.”  
“It’s not what I mean, Ron.” Roe grabbed his forearm; his voice was softened by worry. What an irony, he considered him a cold-blooded killer, yet he still worried about him.   
Speirs pulled back his arm and smiled coldly. It was early May, but all he could feel was cold, as if the deadly winter of Bastogne had rooted into his heart.   
“Get out.”  
He closed the door, just like the one in his heart.


	6. Like an Invasion

Speirs hadn’t spoken to him since that unpleasant night. In fact Roe couldn’t even see him in person. It seemed that Speirs had been utilizing all his talent of dodging ammos on hiding from Roe. Speirs had made it clear that he didn’t want Roe’s explanation, or his apologize. Therefore Roe, even though worried and was still angry, could do nothing at all.  
Apart from hiding from him perfectly, Speirs showed little sign of low spirit. Now the war of Europe was over, Speirs, like everybody else, had fully enjoyed himself in the beautiful mountains and lakes of Austria. He organized a marathon to a nearby mountain in place of their normal physical training, during the trip he was talking and laughing with his fellow soldiers, racing against them for the champagne on destination. He was such a passionate and fascinating leader that it was impossible to ignore his charm. Most of the soldiers grew to be fond of him, as much as Major Winters. At the end of the day some of them even asked him for cigarette. Roe watched him from afar, feeling heartache that had never for a second died away.

Roe wouldn’t complain about this. Back that night he didn’t shout at Speirs for no reason. Deep in his mind he did think Speirs was one of those men that lack mercy and compassion, the impressive speech he had given to encourage Blithe still echoed in his mind. Even though Speirs had done that for a good reason, it couldn’t eliminate his sick feeling about it. Roe loathed those guards of Landsberg Camp as deep as anyone who had witnessed, but it was far too much to revenge in an equally cruel way. “An eye for an eye” was too uncivilized for a noble man, besides, it would do nothing to help the victims.  
But he hadn’t anticipated that it would hurt Speirs so much. A simple fact that we kept ignoring was that, our cruel words always hurt the one we loved much deeper than an irrelevant stranger.  
Roe was a medic, a rather good one. He could deal with all kinds of wounds, but still he couldn’t do anything on fixing up a broken heart; even the best doctor couldn’t tell him how to heal such kind of injury. 

Roe had once thought this would be the end, those cold words would be the last between them. Till that day, a tragedy hit them all.

The war was over, but most soldiers were still stuck here. They didn’t get enough points to be sent home, but they did have enough spare time, alcohol and guns, which endangered lives of both themselves and others.  
Just a few hours after the car accident that killed Janovec, another tragedy fell onto Easy Company. 

Speirs run into to the army hospital just 5 minutes after Grant was shot in the head and moved here. Apart from the two witnesses and Roe, he was the first to come. He tightly held Grant’s hand to support him. When the doctor said he couldn’t do anything to save Grant, his face was as pale as paper.  
“Find the shooter, and I want him alive.” Speirs said to Talbert, lifted the stretcher with him and run out. Roe had to run after them so that he wouldn’t drop the plasma.  
“What are you doing?”  
“We are going to find a brain surgeon.”  
With Speirs’ threatening pistol and words, they finally drummed up a brain surgeon. The doctor, unbelievably calm under the pistol, suggested that he drive so that they could get to the hospital faster. Speirs accepted his suggestion and sat into the Jeep. He laid his left hand on Grant’s neck to feel his pulse. No more words came out of him, as if the tragedy had overwhelmed him completely. Roe put his spare hand on Speirs’ in support. Speirs didn’t pull back, so he stayed here, all the way to the hospital.  
15 minutes later they were waiting anxiously on the corridor outside the surgery room. The brain surgeon they’d found turned out to be excellent. It relieved them a little when the surgeon said the wound was not fatal and Grant would survive.  
Roe stared at the light of surgery room, counting time by seconds. It must be the longest night he had ever experienced, every second felt like hours.  
Speirs stood still in front of a window, like a status made of ice. He looked unreasonably calm, although he was nailing into his fist so deep that Roe had to grab his hand to stop him from cramp. It would have been better if he just burst into anger or even shoot at anything. Roe looked at him in deep worry, tried his best to comfort.  
“The surgeon said Grant would make it. No one is gonna die, not here, not tonight.”  
Speirs didn’t reply. When the surgery was over, Roe helped the German doctor to move Grant to a ward for further treatment. He heard the sound of the jeep engine outside. He had a feeling of what Speirs was going to do, but this time, he himself was too tired to stop him.

Early next morning, Speirs went back to hospital with Major Winters. His face was still cold and emotionless. When Winters asked Roe about Grant’s condition and further treatment, he looked away and refused to make any eye contact with Roe.  
Winters left first for quite urgent information from regiment. Speirs checked Grant’s pulse again to make sure he was fine. There was deep shadow under his eyes; indicating that he didn’t sleep at all last night.  
“They found the shooter.” All of a sudden, Speirs said in hoarse voice, “I was intended to shoot him.”  
He walked away leaving his words unfinished, fast enough to avoid any response from Roe. He told himself that he didn’t care about what Roe thought of him, not anymore, which was obviously the most stupid lie he’d ever had.

Roe stayed in the hospital till they were allowed to transfer Grant to their own medical station. Talbert replaced him later in the afternoon and briefly narrated what had happened to the shooter.  
“When he loaded his pistol and pointed it at the replacement, we all thought he would shoot him.” Said Talbert, “His hand was shaking, and I have never seen him so angry. But eventually, he didn’t pull the trigger.”  
Roe nodded thoughtfully, regret filled his heart.  
At the moment he saw Speirs running into the medical station, he knew he had been completely wrong. He had let prejudice take advantage of him rather than judging by his own. Speirs was no cold-blooded killer, nor would he ever be. He cared about his soldiers so deeply that he could sacrifice his life to protect them, he felt heartbroken when they got injured. Moreover, how could a cold-blooded killer felt angry about strangers’ suffering, and how could he risk his career and even his life to revenge for them?  
“You look tired, doc, go back and have some rest, I’ll take care of Grant.” Talbert suggested, “By the way, don’t forget to report to the company CP before 2100. Captain Speirs said from now on everyone shall stay in company CP after 2100 under his surveillance. If anyone breaks the curfew again, he will shoot him personally.” 

Roe slept for about 3 hours and woke up at half past 8pm. He took some cookies as supper and walked to the company CP. It turned out that he was the first to arrive. The living room was completely empty, even Speirs was not here. Roe looked around and walked straight to the backdoor. There was a small garden behind the company CP, he had an instinct that Speirs would be there, and he was right.  
Speirs was sitting alone at the step and smoking; a scene that resembled the night they were in Landsberg. Roe held his breath and approached, this time Speirs didn’t pull out his pistol, nor did he even move up his eye to Roe at all.  
Roe sat next to him, organizing his words. There were so many things to say that it was hard to figure out a right order, he finally started with the most urgent one.  
“I’m sorry for what I said about Landsberg.”  
Speirs turned a deaf ear on his apologize. He had realized that when they were alone, Speirs tended to show this very childish part of his character, which was cute but discouraging under this circumstance. Roe made a deep breath and encouraged himself to continue, as if he would never dare to say it again once he stopped.  
“Major Winters said the river down here is perfect for morning swimming. I’d like to have a try. Will you come with me tomorrow?”  
Speirs answered in icy voice, still didn’t look back, “I don’t swim.”  
“I will save you if you get drowned. So don’t worry, Sparky.”  
Speirs finally placed his eyes on him. It seemed to have been years or even decades since they talked like this. Roe was surprised that he missed it so dearly.  
“Call me that again, you will regret.”  
Speirs’ face remained expressionless, but his eyes were burning silently like fire under thick glacier. The desire inside was so eager and straightforward that it made him breathless. How could he be so foolish to ignore this for so long?  
He leaned towards him, close enough till he could feel Speirs’ breath on his lips.  
“Sparky?”  
He was dragged into a strong hug; his lips were occupied by a hot and desperate kiss. Speirs was counting Roe’s teeth with his tone, his hand thrusting into Roe’s hair to hold him in the best position. Clearly it was Speirs’ style of attack: no place to hide, no way to escape.  
Jesus, this man is kissing like an invasion.  
It was the last thing in his mind before he totally surrendered into that kiss.

The kiss ended when both of them run out of oxygen. They stared into each other’s eyes; warmth of love silently filled their hearts.  
“You fool.” Speirs whispered, slowly run his hand down Roe’s hair, and caressed around his neck.  
“Both of us were fools.” Roe smiled quietly, trying hard not to blush at the touch of Speirs. He laid his hand on Speirs’ chest, feeling his heart beating fast, just like himself. “We’ve wasted so much time.”  
“No it’s just you. I never wasted a second.”  
“Are we going to stick on this like that, Sparky?”  
Speirs smiled and dragged him into another kiss to end his protest.

Someone shouting inside broke the loving atmosphere.  
“Doc, what are you doing out there? Hurry up, it’s curfew time!”  
Roe jumped to his feet and tried to run inside. However, his legs were still shaking from that hot deep kiss; running would be too much a task for them.  
“Sorry.” Speirs held him by arm to prevent him from falling. Roe could see the contented smile on his face; clearly he didn’t feel sorry at all.  
“I’ll be waiting for you by the river, at 0630 tomorrow.”  
“I won’t swim in that cold water with you.” Speirs frowned and denied.  
Roe smiled, kissed his check to say goodbye.  
“Yes, you will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It turns out to be longer than I planed. Anyway I finished, hope you enjoyed it, and thanks for all kudos, bookmarks and hits!


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